Posted by Sage, January 20, 2019.
If you’ve spent any time in the pickup community, you’re likely familiar with bootcamps. Bootcamps are two to three-day courses where instructors coach guys on how to become better with women. And while bootcamps have proven to be extremely popular in the community, their value has been hotly debated. Some argue that it’s the best and fastest way to improve your dating life while others say it’s a scam that produces mediocre results.
Generally, a bootcamp consists of one or more dating instructors teaching a small group of guys their methods for attracting women. It usually last three days and two nights and includes a mix of theory and “field” time. For the theory part, the instructor will go over their methodologies, which may include exercises to help implement what’s been taught. For the “field” time, the instructors take the students out to meet women, which includes daygame and nightgame. The instructor will usually watch the student’s interactions (or even join them) and give them critical feedback so the student will know what they need to work on.
Bootcamps can cost anywhere from a few hundred dollars to thousands, which means they’re on the higher end of the services offered by dating companies.
I’ve personally taken three bootcamps. And out of the three of them, only one was worthwhile. The first one was taught by my friend who ran local bootcamps in the Toronto area. His method was similar to Mystery’s and included a variety of lines and routines. While he was a great motivator, he wasn’t very good at adapting his methods for his students. Besides having a rock star persona (something I couldn’t relate to) I found many of his techniques not suitable for my personality. It’s safe to say I had limited success from his teachings.
As for my second bootcamp, it was taught by a guy who used to teach at Charisma Arts. If you’re not familiar with them, Wayne Elise is the founder who wrote a popular guest post in The Game. Compared to the Mystery Method, Charisma Arts advocates a more a natural game which I liked. While he was a nice guy, a lot of the stuff he taught was pretty “common sense” and I felt like I didn’t learn much. He was also partially drunk for a portion of the bootcamp which pretty much sums it up. Luckily, it didn’t cost much so I guess you get what you pay for.
It was only after my third bootcamp with RedpoleQ where I felt like my game really started improving. After taking two bootcamps, I was hesitant to throw down money for another one. But after hearing a lot of great reviews and talking with him on Skype, I felt it was worth the risk. And I’m glad I made the decision. Since taking the bootcamp three years ago, I’m more confident now than I’ve ever been before. My dating life has dramatically improved and I’ve dated plenty of amazing, beautiful women. The great thing about RedpoleQ (besides knowing his stuff) is that he really cares about his students. Whenever I’m stuck, I can shoot him a message and he’ll give me practical, actionable advice.
So did his bootcamp solve all of my issues? Obviously, not. But it did cut down on my learning curve and jumpstarted my dating life. But before I discuss whether a bootcamp is worth it or not, let’s go over some of the pros and cons first.
- A bootcamp forces you outside of your comfort zone. This is where most guys fail. If you’re not finding ways to constantly push your boundaries, you’re not going to achieve real growth. For example, if you’re afraid of approaching women, but spend all of your time reading dating products, you’re not going to achieve much dating success. A good coach can inspire you to take action.
- The right coach can help you to smooth out the important fundamentals of an interaction, such as eye contact, smiling, touching, body language, and other vital non-verbal behaviors. These are things that you’re probably not aware that you’re doing and can make a huge difference in your interactions.
- An experienced coach can speed up your learning process and help you to see results faster. Instead of struggling to figure things out on your own, he can give you the missing pieces that you need to help you achieve your goals. He can also point out your sticking points and give you specific ways to overcome them.
- It’s an opportunity to meet other like-minded people who are serious about improving themselves. Besides the coach, you’ll likely meet other guys also taking the bootcamp. This is important because you’ll be able to help and support each other once the bootcamp is over.
- Bootcamps place too much emphasis on only picking up women instead of teaching you on how to become more attractive yourself. Because to truly attract more women, you have to first build up an attractive lifestyle. A bootcamp isn’t going to help much if you no job, are broke, dress poorly, are overweight, or live with your parents. Learning more game isn’t to do much good until you get your personal life in order. This probably explains why my first two bootcamps failed since I was still in school and living with my dad who I have a complicated relationship with.
- Many coaches don’t adapt their methods to their students. They rely on a “one size fits all” approach which may or may not work for you. If you’re an introverted, you’re encouraged to be extroverted. If you’re a nerd, you should be a player. Instead of giving you the tools and support to bring out your best natural qualities, they try to turn you into who they think you should be. That’s why it’s important to choose an experienced coach who can tailor his teachings to your unique personality and traits.
- Most bootcamps only last a few days, which isn’t enough time to properly build up the habits to become successful with women. This includes building habits to open girls despite feeling anxious, habits for bantering and teasing, habits for sexually expressing yourself, and habits for escalating. To develop these habits, you need time and practice for them to become ingrained. It generally takes at least 30 days to build a habit so you have to be sure you will continue to practice even after the bootcamp is finished.
- Problems with the bootcamp “high”. Often when students complete a bootcamp, they’re on a “high”. This high is caused when we do something far outside of our comfort zone which sends a huge shot of adrenaline and endorphins to our brain. This high can last for up to days and pushes us to do all kinds of actions we would normally be too scared to do. The problem is that once the high wears off and the coach is gone, you realize you haven’t really changed and you’re back to where you started. This happened to me and can be extremely frustrating. Many guys even blame themselves for this and give up.
- Bootcamps can remove your sense of responsibility. As humans, we avoid what makes us uncomfortable. So instead of facing our fears, it’s much easier to hire someone who can take that responsibility away from us. There are guys who will hire a coach expecting them to fix all of their problems without taking any responsibility themselves. This allows them to trick themselves into thinking they’re improving themselves without having to take any risk. But becoming successful with women requires you to face your fears dead on. It means putting yourself out there and getting rejected.There’s no way of avoiding this no matter how hard you try. Whether it’s fear of approaching women or expressing yourself sexually, you have to tackle each of these fears one by one.
So are bootcamps worth it? Yes, I think they can be valuable for specific individuals. But they’re not the cure-all solution that the pickup industry likes to make them out to be. If you’re deciding whether to take a bootcamp, here are some things to consider:
- Do you have your personal life together? If you’re unemployed, broke, still living with your parents, out of shape, or have no hobbies, get those handled first.
- Is the coach willing to talk with you and answer all of your questions? If they’re not willing to spend 20 minutes on the phone with you, what makes you think they’re going to care enough to help you on your bootcamp?
- Can the coach adapt his teaching for his students? Does he have any experience coaching guys with similar problems like you? Look for reviews from former students (not on the company’s website) to see what others have said about the company.
- Do they offer ongoing support after the bootcamp? Following the bootcamp with RedpoeQ, I joined his private forum where he would personally answer any questions from his students. This is what set his coaching program apart from the other two and what really made a difference in my dating success.
- Do you only have one or two sticking points? Are you afraid of approaching women? Or do you have a problem with expressing yourself sexually to women? It’s much easier to address a couple of sticking points on a weekend compared to ten.
- Have you tried going out yourself to see if you can solve your sticking points with women? If not, try going out on your own or with a friend. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn with some practice.
- Can you afford the cost of a bootcamp without putting yourself in debt? If you’re really tight on cash, give your friend $100 and tell him not to give it back until you approach 20 girls. Ask him to watch you during your interactions and tell you if he sees anything “off.” This feedback can be invaluable and let you correct aspects of your game without having to pay thousands of dollars.
If you answered yes to all of the above, a bootcamp may be worth it. But as with most things, bootcamps aren’t going to solve all of your problems with women. Do your research and if you do decide to take one, make sure to choose a program where they teach you how to naturally attract women without gimmicks or tricks. But most importantly, choose one that matches your personality and values. If you’re looking to jumpstart your dating life, check out these products.