Posted by Sage, January 7, 2019.
“Isn’t it being fake to use pickup techniques to attract women? I don’t want to be manipulative.”
Some guys feel that it’s manipulative to learn pickup. They have this notion that the courtship process and the game of love should happen naturally.
Any social interaction with a woman, a man, a child, a boss, anybody, is a skill. Social skills, just like any other skills, are learned and crafted overtime.
When I meet a good salesman, even if I know he’s a good salesman, I still have no problem buying from him. That’s because a good salesman knows how to make me feel comfortable by not pushing too hard for the sale.
Interestingly, it’s the men, not the women, who are most concerned about being manipulative. Their negative inner voice tells them that playing the game is deceptive, a con, or simply immoral. They fear women will know they’re being fake or that they’ll be found out.
What many guys don’t understand is that women want you to play the game. Just understand that playing the game doesn’t mean being a player. Rather, it’s about making the whole experience seem as natural as possible.
Women are emotionally drawn to the fantasy of the fairytale romance. They’ve been programmed by society since watching Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. No woman wakes up in the morning thinking “I don’t want to be swept off my feet today.”
A man who knows how to sensually lead a woman from initial eye contact all the way to the bedroom is very attractive to women. As the man, you are expected to lead her through all the different stages of dating.
It has nothing to do with being manipulative or fake. It’s about empowering a woman and giving her the chance to live out her deeply rooted romantic fantasy.
In answering the question of whether or not “game playing” is manipulative, consider the flipside of the story…
Women have been exchanging information about boys and relationships since they were little girls. They started sharing tips with their friends at slumber parties and in the playground at school. If they had a problem with a boy, they would ask their girl friend for advice. Later on, they started sharing relationship tips and techniques from magazines like Teen and Cosmopolitan.
Consciously or not, women use strategies on men all the time.
Boys, on the other hand, were too busy playing Nintendo or sneaking peeks at Hustler magazine at the corner store. When boys had problems with girls, we tended to try to figure it out on our own. After all, guys are stoic; we don’t want to share our feelings.
As men, we just didn’t get the same kind of training as women did.
Don’t believe the fantasy of destiny. The right person will NOT just come along.
Any effort that you put into learning and improving your situation with women and dating is a win-win for both you AND the woman. You’re seeking to improve your chances of things working out the best for the BOTH of you.
Being a nice guy on the inside is not enough. You have to be able to convey that you are a catch on the outside FIRST.
But if you don’t learn how to sell yourself, then how will she know just how great of a guy you are?