Posted by Sage, January 7, 2019.
The “friend-zone”…the most dreaded place for any guy. You like a girl but she only sees you as just a friend. But what if told you that it didn’t have to be this way? What if it was possible to turn that platonic friendship into something more personal? Read the following tips to find out how…
Start planting the seed
One common reason why guys are in the “friend-zone” is because the girl just doesn’t know how he feels about her. Women aren’t mind readers. You can’t expect her to know what you’re feeling. That’s why it’s important to be making your intentions clear from the start. If you’re too chummy or nice, and not flirting at all, she’s going to have no idea you’re interested in her.
If you want to be more than just friends, you have to change how she sees you. You can do this by getting her to see you as someone with sexual needs and desires. But how do you go about doing this without making it seem weird? By not being afraid to talk about sex or dating during the conversation. The key is to make it light and fun. That’s why flirting is so important — you can use sexual innuendo to bring up sexual topics in a playful way.
One of my favorite things to do is to playfully accuse her of taking advantage of me. I’ll say something like “Let’s get dinner together but only if you promise not to try to make out with me.” or “I don’t know if I can trust you. My mom warned me about girls like you.” These lines add spice to the conversation. They also reverse the gender roles and put her on the defensive since it’s usually the woman who is expecting guys to try to make out with her. Obviously, it’s better if you can do this at the beginning of the friendship, but it’s not the end of the world if you haven’t. Just start small and flirt with her whenever you guys are together.
Amp up the sexual tension
One great way to increase the sexual tension is by touching her more when you guys talk. Most guys make the mistake of not touching girls enough. If you’re not used to doing this, start off by lightly tapping her elbow or shoulder when you talk. Then gradually increase the amount of touch by leaving your hand for longer periods of time on areas like her arms, shoulder, back, etc. Notice her reaction and progress accordingly.
Touching is important because it gets her to become comfortable with your touch. Physical touch also releases pleasure hormones in the brain. Humans crave contact. We need it. So not only will she enjoy being around you more, chances are she’ll begin craving your touch as well.
Another great way to build up sexual tension is by increasing eye contact. Look her deep in the eyes. Imagine as if you’re having sex with her. Yes, sex. She’ll be able to sense your raw sexuality from the strong gaze. If you’re not sure how to do this, one tip is to look at your own reflection in her pupils. But be sure to break eye contact periodically since doing this the entire time will be too intense.
Also, be sure to slow down when you talk. Calm your voice so it’s a bit deeper than usual. Take your time and soak in the silence. By slowing down and elongating your eye contact, you’ll be able to create a romantic mood for the two of you.
Go for the kiss
Once she’s comfortable with your touch, it’s time to take things to the next level. A simple trick is to invite her over to your place to cook and watch a movie. I like cooking since it’s interactive and an activity you guys can do together. Once you’re done cooking, you can put on the movie. This is also a great time to get more personal and to let her know how you feel. Tell her what you like about her and be specific. You can gauge her reaction and see how she feels. But usually, if you’ve done everything right to this point, and if your compliments are genuine, she should be receptive.
While the movie plays, you can start cuddling to get closer to her. Then slowly increase the sexual tension by stroking her hair, caressing her thigh and smelling her neck. You can even mention how good she smells and ask her what perfume she’s wearing. Once the tension is built up enough, turn her towards you so you’re staring her straight in the eye. Then slowly lean in until you’re a few inches away from her face and stay there. If she holds the eye contact and doesn’t pull back, you can go for the kiss.
Get some alone time
The only way to progress any relationship is to spend some “alone time” together — just the two of you. Invite her out to something you can enjoy together, like drinks, live music, an art gallery etc. But whatever it is, it should be clear that you’re interested in her. Don’t beat around the bush.
So how do you ask her out? The best way to ask a girl out is by making it something casual. One of my favorite places for dates is the coffee shop. It’s a place where I enjoy spending my time and is low pressure. This makes it easy for girls to agree. The last thing you want to do is to make the date a huge deal and bring her to a super expensive dinner and a helicopter ride around the city. This puts way too much pressure on her and makes it more likely for her to decline. Just make it something simple, unique and fun.
If you guys have been friends for a while, it might take her a while to get used to the idea of dating you. This is normal and to be expected. If she’s hesitant about the idea of progressing things, be patient. If you ask her out on a date or try to kiss her and she declines, don’t be fazed. Take it all in stride. Let her know that it’s completely fine if she doesn’t feel the same way as you.
The key is to NOT get angry or upset. If you can allow her to express herself without becoming affected, you will come across as extremely confident and attractive. This is important because you don’t want her to associate you with negative feelings. The last thing you want is to have her be upset or uncomfortable every time she thinks about you. This is also why associations are so powerful – if you only focus on giving her a great time, she’ll be much more likely to want to be with you.
Don’t wait around or settle
Just because you like a friend doesn’t mean you should wait around for her. You should never have to settle. The last thing you want is to be “plan B” waiting around as she dates other guys. While this often pays off in movies, it rarely does in real life. This might mean letting her go and putting an end to the friendship. Not only will this make you happier, in the end, it will also give her chance to see how her life will be without you in it. But be sure you’re ready to walk away from the friendship.
Not waiting around also means you should be dating other women. This will help keep you busy and not be dependent on your friend to keep you happy. As a result, you’ll become less needy more naturally attractive. It will also show her that she may lose her chance with you, giving her more reason to take action.
While I understand you may be in love with your friend and want to make her your girlfriend, the reality is sometimes it just not meant to be. Maybe she’s not interested in you in that way or doesn’t want to risk losing you as a friend. And you have to respect that. Plus, it’s never a bad thing to have a great female friend. But the good news is there are plenty of women out there – 3.5 billion to be specific. And I’m sure a few of them would be more than happy to date you. So keep approaching and never give up hope. The next woman you talk to could be that special someone.