Posted by Sage, January 6, 2019.
What’s the secret to making a great first impression?
This is the question on every guy’s mind when they talk to women.
We only have seven seconds to make a positive impression when we meet someone.
A great first impression makes others want to talk to you, while a poor one makes them awkwardly back away. This is key if you’re interested in meeting more women since those first few seconds can make or break your entire interaction.
Here are six simple ways to help you create an unforgettable first impression the next time you meet someone.
1. Have great posture
Are you a sloucher? If so, you better change that before you start talking to girls. If you look at most confident men, they have great posture. The perfect example is Robert Downey Jr in the Iron Man movies. While he’s only 174cm, every time he’s on screen he commands our attention. We can’t help but be drawn to his presence. And a big reason for this is his confident posture. He stands tall and takes up plenty of place. A man who stands up straight communicates confidence and high value. You also look taller which is never a bad thing.
So how do you improve your posture? Good posture is basically ensuring that your body remains in alignment. So straighten your back, shoulders back, chest out, chin up, feet forward and look straight ahead. If you’re having trouble, you can use a mirror to help you by making sure your ears, shoulders and hips line up.
Another tip is use a daily reminder (such as a digital alarm) to help remind you to maintain your posture. Put the alarm on for every hour and whenever it goes off, you’ll be reminded to check your posture. Keeping doing this everyday until it becomes second nature.
2. Smile (naturally)
Your smile is one of your best assets so use it your advantage. A great smile communicates friendliness to make girls feel comfortable around you. But smiling isn’t just about moving your mouth; it involves your entire face. A genuine smile occurs when the zygomatic major and the orbicularis oculi muscles contract, which raise the corners of your mouth and the areas around your cheeks and eyes.
To perfect your smile, practice smiling in front of a mirror. This helps you to figure out how your natural smile looks like. While saying “cheese!” is a popular way to get us to smile during photos, it actually isn’t the best for a natural smile. Words that end with “ah” (such as yoga or mocha) are better options. This is because they help to open your mouth while subtly raising your cheekbones, producing a more natural smile.
I should also mention the importance of good oral hygiene. The greatest smile in the world isn’t going to help if your teeth are stained or breath reeks. So remember to brush and floss and your approaches will go much more smoothly.
3. Voice tonality
A deep powerful voice can turn girls on and make them weak in their knees. However, what we say isn’t as important as how we say it. Studies show that only 7% of communication is verbal. That means non-verbal (which includes voice tonality) makes up the rest of communication. Just like smiling or posture, finding your right tone of voice takes time. All the greatest speakers of our time, such as Martin Luther King and John F. Kennedy, had strong speaking voices.
You want to speak with a clear, slow and powerful tone. But be careful not to yell or you may come across as overly aggressive or rude. The latter can be just as much of an attraction killer as speaking too weakly. Be sure to enunciate and pay attention to every word you say. Pause between sentences and take your time. Cut out all filler words like “ah” “um” and “uh”. They have no place in confident speech.
The best way to improve your speaking voice is to record yourself and take notes. Note areas where you can improve and actively work on them when speaking to others. You can also take presentation classes like Toast Masters to hone your speaking skills. That’s what I did in university and it’s one of the best investments I’ve made.
4. Stop stressing about the opening line
Most guys stress about the opening line they say to women. Should you be direct or indirect? Should you compliment her or use an opinion opener? But what if I said the opening line isn’t that important. The main purpose of the opening line is to get the conversation started. It doesn’t have to be witty or perfect.
I used to memorize all these elaborate openers and it just took all the enjoyment out of the process. A great tip I picked up is it’s not how she reacts to your opening line but how you react to her reaction. That took a lot of the pressure off the opener for me. I realize now that even the smoothest pickup line will fall flat from time to time. So why not keep things simple.
What I usually open with nowadays is something simple like “I really like your shirt.” or “Your bag is really big.” That’s it. None of that “Can I get your opinion on something” nonsense. And after doing thousands of approaches I can safely say that 9/10 the opener doesn’t have an impact on the outcome of the interaction.
If you’re not sure what to open with, clothes are usually a safe bet. Compliments are also fine (as long as they’re genuine). Even just saying “Hello” is good. It really doesn’t matter. But whatever you decide to say, the important thing is to deliver it clearly and confidently.
5. Fully commit
No, I’m not talking about marriage. I mean you have to commit to the interaction. 100%. Don’t half-ass it. When most guys approach girls, they don’t fully commit to the interaction. They’re worried about looking weird or how she might react. They have one foot out the door before they even talk to the girl. Women can sense these insecurities and it makes for poor first impression. The reason is that it makes you look unsure and disingenuous.
Imagine if someone went up to you and said “Hey…ummm…I really…umm..like…uh…your shirt.” How would you feel? I would probably feel flattered but a bit uneasy at the same time. I would be wondering why is he so nervous? Now contrast this with someone coming up to you and saying “I f*cking love your shirt. The style is so unique!” The second person makes a much stronger impression because he’s so committed with what he’s saying.
It’s your job to commit to the conversation and see where it takes you. Don’t run the second she starts giving you a bit of a challenge. By committing 100%, you’re giving yourself the best chance of having a deep, meaningful conversation.
6. Challenge her
Don’t make the mistake many guys make and be a “dancing monkey.” It’s a term used when you try too hard to be funny or entertaining. While this may get a few laughs, it’s not attractive behaviour. Instead, give her a bit of a challenge. Push back a bit. Does she meet your criteria for an ideal partner? Is she interesting? Are you having fun talking to her? If not, leave. There’s no rule saying that you have to talk with every woman you meet.
Now don’t confuse this with bailing on sets when things get tough. Not all interactions are going to go smoothly and these are great opportunities to turn things around. What I mean is to be more selective with the women you talk to. Don’t just spend time with a girl just because she’s hot.
This is where having a clear idea of what you want in a partner comes in handy. I have a “perfect woman statement” that outlines in detail exactly what I want in a woman. It includes everything from her appearance, smell, personality, hobbies and even sexual preferences. For example, I love traveling so that’s something I’m going to talk about whenever I meet a woman. If she doesn’t enjoy traveling, chances are we’re not going to be a match (no matter how hot she is).
So spend some time thinking about your values, what’s important to you and what you want in a partner. Screen for girls who meet your criteria and avoid ones who don’t. I assure you’ll be much happier in the end.
Putting it all together
Remember, you only have one chance to make a memorable impression. Makes yours count. If you’re not sure where to start just pick one of the areas above to focus on first. If you have poor posture, practice standing up straight. If your smile could use some work, practice smiling in the mirror. Or if you’re not committing to your interactions, make it a goal to stay at least 30 seconds in every set. Once you feel you’ve made sufficient progress in one area, move onto the next. The key is to take baby steps. Keep doing this and you’ll be making unforgettable first impressions wherever you go.