Posted by Sage, January 9, 2019.
The Game written by Neil Strauss changed the way men think about dating and attraction. Since its release, there have been numerous digital products created on how to become a pickup artist. These products have helped thousands of men with their confidence and social skills. Some of these products have literally changed my life.
But I don’t believe in following a list of “pickup rules.” You become more “real” if you learn to be discerning, and learn when to break the rules, and when to trust your own judgment.
I do not endorse any pickup techniques to be followed blindly or religiously. Thinking in shades of gray is always better than black and white. The only rule you should follow dogmatically is don’t follow any rule dogmatically.
One of the reasons I decided to launch DatingReview101.com is because I believe that dating products for men – at least some of them – are a force for good. It all depends on how you use your skills.
But pickup artistry has gotten a bad rep. As I explained in this article, most women actually enjoy the process of a man leading her through the stages of “game.” Using pickup techniques to attract women is NOT the same as being a manipulative liar.
Think of pickup artistry as a set of training wheels. Most guys are not what you’d call a “natural” with women, so dating advice – or pickup artistry – gives them techniques to use while they learn to be more comfortable being themselves. But it’s important to learn why the techniques work. This way you can develop and hone your own techniques that are true to your personality and aligned to your core values.
When I first started learning pickup I tried a lot of different techniques to catch a woman’s interest: palm reading, magic tricks, storytelling, etc. The techniques worked great, but NOT because of the techniques themselves. They worked because of the confidence boost they gave me. It gave me a set of tools that I could use to not only attract more women, but to become a more confident person.
It’s not the technique itself that attracts women; it’s YOU and how you deliver it.
As I got more experienced with women and dating, I realized that I didn’t need “tricks” anymore. In fact, women were attracted to me more as I became more comfortable with who I am.
The hidden element in pickup is integrity – and it can NOT be faked.
Conversations are always a dynamic. No two interactions with a woman are ever the same. Every conversation has its own rhythm and pace and it would be impossible for me to tell you what to say in every situation.
So don’t just work on improving your pickup skills, work on becoming a better man. Women will love you more because of it.
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