Posted by Sage, January 18, 2019.
The word “player” stirs up all kinds of negative connotations. On a logical level, women think he’s manipulative, afraid of commitment, and cares only about his sexual pursuits.
The term “player” is used by women to instill guilt in men who date more than one woman at a time. Some women have been hurt by men in the past, most likely by an ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her, and these damaged women can be hostile towards players. Misdirecting her anger from past negative experiences, she resents the player, thinking of him as misogynistic, deceitful, or just a bad person.
And it’s not only women. Men have also jumped on the politically correct bandwagon. These frustrated nice guys with little experience with women righteously judge players as men of weak character — men who are indiscriminate in their pursuit of women.
So with all these haters, why is it that players are the ones who get the girls?
The guy who has learned to play the game has a keen sense of social intuition through practice, practice, and more practice. He’s experienced at the game of attraction and understands what women really want. It’s not a question of whether or not pickup artistry is immoral, it’s a question of what actually works at attracting women.
So here’s my take on the whole thing:
Beware of the terms “player,” “pickup,” and “the game” and their negative connotations. There is nothing wrong with dating multiple women at the same time as long as it’s done in an honorable way. That means you’re being direct with what you want in the relationship.
Unlike the nice guy who will put up with subpar women for far too long, or the jerk who tends to mistreat women, the player avoids these traps. He is comfortable with who he is and he’s not ashamed of playing the field. How are you going to find Ms. Right if you’re not dating many women throughout your life?
Don’t delude yourself; women do the exact same thing. Keeping your options open has nothing to do with being disrespectful or misogynistic.
When most guys meet a girl they like, they focus all their attention on only her. This kind of obsession — thinking that you found “the one” – has a reverse effect. If you’re coming on too strong, you seem desperate. Neediness is an attraction killer.
Not every woman wants to be in an exclusive relationship with a man right away. But when you make one woman the center of your world too quickly, you give off the wrong kind of vibe. Players don’t do this.
Having said that, there is something that the player can NOT give to women – something that is critically important in every monogamous relationship.