Posted by Sage, January 16, 2019.
In a previous article, I explained why being a nice guy is not what women want. But in this article, I wanted to elaborate on the flip side of the coin: Why do girls like jerks?
In the dating hierarchy, the jerk is actually a step above the nice guy. You’ve probably seen it before where some asshole in a nightclub seems to attract all the attention of the girls. You might have thought: What the hell does that sweet girl see in that asshole?
Do women really like men who mistreat them?
I propose that women are attracted to jerks because of his perceived level of confidence. The jerk conveys attractive male qualities without even trying:
- He’s not looking for women’s approval; he doesn’t care about what other people think of him.
- He’s not afraid of being blunt or offensive. Because of this, he’s more “real” than the nice guy.
- He’s unpredictable and unafraid of expressing emotions. When he’s angry, he will show it.
Women love complaining about him because, well, he’s a jerk. But they also like being with him because of these bad boy traits.
The nice guy has a hard time accepting this. Why? Because he’s too buy getting his dating advice from listening to women complain about the jerks.
Unlike the nice guy, the jerk knows how to get an emotional response from women. But he’s also sloppy and careless:
- He’s prone to demonstrating excessive or unnecessary anger
- He uses crude or insulting language
- He can be rude and insensitive in social situations
In the end, the jerk wins a short-sighted game. He gets the girl, but he won’t know how to keep her in the long-run. He also tends to attract emotionally unstable women with low self-esteem, which will cause all kinds of problems down the road.
Women who have a lot of experience with men will recognize the jerk for his immature behaviors. She will know better. But attraction is illogical – it’s not always possible to control the attraction we feel towards certain types of people.